Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Soup Nazi

"Dad, is this the menu?"

"Why would they have a soup menu in the middle of the Museum of Modern Art?"

"Well, that's what I want to know. Besides, you promised me real New York pizza when we came to Manhattan. I can have soup in North Carolina any time."

Friday, October 15, 2010

Elf of Anarchy

In case you can't read the hat, it says "Santa Land." This is the progeny of a Son of Anarchy and a Christmas elf.

Following in the non-conformist tradition of Herbie the Wannabe Dentist Elf, Big Slim Roughton is truly a one of a kind toy maker.

And I'm pretty sure he has a monopoly on all the biker elf chicks, too.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Physical Education: (Part One)

My Health-O-Meter brand bathroom scales were beginning to leak out state secrets. This is, of course, considered treason, and as everyone knows, the penalty for treason is death. I don’t own a gun, so a firing squad was out of the question. There are no trees in my yard, so a good old fashioned hanging was not a physical possibility. My son, however, does own a couple of baseball bats – one of them aluminum.

On that Friday, I gave the scales a little love tap – just enough to let them know I meant business. “Get your act together, or there will be repercussions.”

At that point, it had not yet become an emotional issue for me. It was a onetime breach of security, and I was sure the scales would understand the gravity of the situation. I decided it was best that I and the Health-O-Meter spent some time apart that weekend as a cooling off period.

“I’ll be back on Sunday. I don’t want to have this conversation again.”

Monday, October 11, 2010

Brave New World

Is it just me, or does this family vacation pic make you feel like you are on a bad acid trip? Aldous Huxley would be proud.