"Daddy, can we have beans for dinner? My puppy just farted on me, and I need to get even with her big time."
"When I grow up, I want to either be the President or an NBA player. Which one makes more money?"
"Can you fire somebody out of your class if they're not good at writing?"
"Can we buy stuff to make a protein shake? I'm working on my abs."
"I need some more of that mosquito bite cream. Sweetie licked all mine off, but at least her tongue won't be itchy now."
Son, you just asked me that ten minutes ago. "Yeah, but sometimes I wait a little while and ask again to see if you are going to give me the real answer."
On his first day of Summer Academic Enrichment Camp: "It was all girls besides me in my group. Two guys were supposed to come, but they didn't show up today. Man, I hope those guys stay sick all week."